Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I lost the right to judge tonight
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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