you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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