come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
