I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
