I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
