I CAN MOONWALK!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
