He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
