is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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