its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
