Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize