i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
