every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
