dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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