I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
he puts the penis in happiness.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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