Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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