so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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