and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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