covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
