I can't watch pbs sober anymore
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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