and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
