my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
