C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
only you would photoshop your dick
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Floor bacon is actually really good
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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