Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
