i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
