like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize