i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
