THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
