woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
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I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
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btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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