There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
