She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
