i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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