I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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