haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
