didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Randomize
