'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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