Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just want nice things and good sex
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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