tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
