Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
