I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Congratulations! We have a period
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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