Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
