I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
