p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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