Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
