Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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