Kareoke will never be a sober sport
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
