Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
