it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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