Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
