I CAN MOONWALK!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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