and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
