The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
