Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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