I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
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