I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize