what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
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we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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