Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
