maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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