Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
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All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
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The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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