it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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