Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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