We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
