It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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