and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
