My boss' voice literally gives me gas
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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