So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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