were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
