the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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