I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
