OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize