Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
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my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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