Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
